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Top 5 Worst Movies of 2003 Opinions by Shawn McKenzie 02/05/2004 I didn't see every single movie of 2003, but I did see a majority of them, so I can safely say that I know what was not worth seeing in 2003. You may disagree with my choices, and that's fine, but know what I don't like. These movies just plain sucked! See what you think.
5. Dr. Seuss’ The Cat in the Hat-I hardly believe that the late Dr. Seuss would have approved of this movie filled with sophomoric bathroom humor that only a 12-year-old would find funny. Along with Dr. Seuss’ The Grinch who Stole Christmas, Hollywood is 0 for 2 in producing a decent adaptation of a Seuss classic.
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4. Darkness Falls-This was the dumbest movie of the year that was labeled as “horror.” It was a waste of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s” Emma Caulfield. With Sarah Michelle Gellar’s obvious bad movie track record and Eliza Dushku’s horrible Wrong Turn, the “Buffy” movie transition isn’t going so well.
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3. Cold Creek Manor-This movie actually started out creepy and ended up incredibly stupid. I didn’t hear more groans or unintentional laughs at any other screening in 2003 than I did at this one. The sad thing is that everyone in this movie is normally talented elsewhere!
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2. The Order-This movie was offensive, but not in a sacrilegious way...just a bad movie way. Fortunately it was so bad that it was funny. Get some buds together, put this DVD in the player, and make fun of it “Mystery Science Theater 300”-style. It’s incredibly easy.
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1. Irreversible-Unlike The Order, this one is bad and not funny at all. There is a potpourri of reasons to dislike this movie...you just have to choose one (or all, like me.) There is the obvious Memento rip-off in style. The nine-minute rape scene. The incredibly annoying music scoring a camera so shaky it makes The Blair Witch Project look like a still shot. The disturbing head bashing scene. The end that just...ends. There is shocking, and then there is tasteless and grating. This movie was certainly the latter two.
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Dis-Honorable Mentions (movies I gave a 1 ½, 2, or 2 ½ camera rating that didn’t quite make the list): Beyond Borders, Camp, Casa De Los Babys, Gigli, The Hard Word, Honey, The Jungle Book 2, Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life, Piglet’s Big Movie, Under the Tuscan Sun What do you think of my choices? What would you choose as the worst movies of 2003? Please email me at shawn@entertainyourbrain.com or go to the Home Page and post your opinion on the Entertain Your Brain Message Board! |
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